Week 163 – Playing hard to get

Jax’s arms were warm and strong around her, wrapping her up in a little bubble of safety that she hadn’t expected to feel this soon after her assault.

He started to walk and panic sliced through her. Was he leaving her? It wasn’t like she could expect him to stay with her, they’d only known each other a short time and he no doubt wanted to get home and back to his own life.

“Are you leaving?” Mackenzie asked, forcing herself to loosen her grip around his neck.

“Leaving? No, of course not. Unless you want me to,” Jax added.

“No, I want you to stay, please,” she said softly.

“I’m not leaving you, sweetheart.” Jax pressed a kiss to her forehead then started walking again, stopping at the couch where he sat, settling her in his lap and pulling a blanket off the back of the couch to wrap around her.

“Thank you,” she whispered as she sunk down against him, tucking her face against his neck. He’d stayed with her all night, been by her side while she gave her statement and endured the rape kit, he’d offered to drive her home and come up here with her when he could have left her in the street outside her apartment building. All week she’d been fighting her attraction to him, positive that after the disaster of her last relationship she would never give her heart to another man, and now she wasn’t so sure.

Her life had just been tossed upside down in the most traumatic of manner, she was in no place to be making decisions about anything of important, and yet she knew in her heart she didn’t want Jax to go.

Mackenzie didn’t even process what she was doing, it was like she was on emotion overload that it catapulted her into a place where her feelings became so crystal clear that she couldn’t not act on them. Her hands curled around Jax’s neck, drew his face down, and kissed him.

He hesitated for a moment, and she knew he was worrying about taking advantage of her while she was vulnerable, but she had never been more sure of anything in her life. She needed something good, something pure to override what had happened to her.

The kiss was sweet, soft, tender, it touched her down deep inside, in a place she’d thought had been ruined beyond repair by the betrayal of her ex.

Everything was going well, Jax was keeping things gentle, non threatening, and she was into the kiss, and then all of a sudden she wasn’t.

She didn’t remember the attack but she knew it had happened, and all of a sudden these images were flashing through her mind.

On a sob she shoved him away. Jax’s green eyes grew wide, but he smiled and brushed his fingertips lightly across her cheek.

That made things worse. “I’m so sorry, Jax,” she said as fresh tears filled her eyes. “I wasn’t trying to play games, and I’m not playing hard to get, I wanted that kiss, I did and then …”

“It’s okay, honey,” he assured her, drawing her back into his embrace. “You’ve just been through hell, you don’t need to make any decisions right now. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, lets just see what happens when it happens.”

He was being so wonderful, and she was so grateful that he was here. Snuggling closer she laid her head on his chest, above his heart where the steady beating lulled her towards sleep. Minutes later she drifted off, tears still trickling down her cheeks.